It has been a long time! Christmas was a success! Trying to get my boys' faces away from a screen has proved hard, especially since Santa gave each boy a Nintendo DS. If only they could make money playing video games for hours...They put down their games with crossed eyes and glazed expressions. I try to find things for them to do that are as interesting, but I have a feeling that I come up short. It reminds me of one of my favorite professors from college, Dr. Johnstonneaux, who taught middle school English for years and years. He said that if he had hung naked from the chandelier in class, he would only have been able to hold his students' attention for 3 minutes max. I've felt that way with my own class and with my own children.
Mikayla got a Russian dwarf hamster that she named Mr. Ages from the movie The Secret of Nimh. He looks just like him. He has a little white mustache and old man eyebrows that make me laugh. He's bitten Kayla and brought blood a few times, but she still loves him. She has a little schedule for him taped to the outside of his cage. She gives him time for exercise, time that she reads to him, time for him to sleep. She will be 11 on the 11th of February and she has reminded me several times that she will be in Young Women in a year. My heart squeezes when I think of her plowing through her youth with a single-minded determination to get it behind her.
I was able to do a session for the first time at the Oquirrh temple. It is much smaller than the Jordan River temple, but makes up for it in its beauty and the feeling I have when I go inside. We can see three temples from our house. Four on a very clear day. Where else in the world is this possible?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Why I Will Never Be Caught Shopping on Black Friday
Okay, I used to almost like shopping at Christmas. Then, I had sons. Sons who grew up and wanted video games. They were no longer happy with the boxes that inexpensive toys came in, they wanted the latest system and they were old enough to say 'Wii' but young enough that it was with a delicious little-boy lisp that made my heart melt. All they wanted was a Wii and a game or two. Unfortunately, that's all everyone else's little boys wanted, too.
I made it my mission to find my boys an elusive Wii. I went to every Target, Walmart, KMart, Costco and Shopko within a 30 mile radius, but it became more and more apparent that I was going to have more luck seeing the three Nephites and taking them home. The Wii was the holy grail of gifts and I became one of the wretched refuse running wild-eyed to the back of stores where the electronics were kept.
I called every GameStop and GameCrazy in Utah. I was willing to drive hours for it. I got a tip about a week before Christmas that a GameCrazy in West Valley was going to get a shipment as soon as it opened the next morning. I woke up early, drove to West Valley through inches of snow, and slid into the parking lot where plowed snow was piled into five foot hills. I waited with heart racing until the men who obviously lived with their mothers and owned the store opened the doors. I ran from the car with a nameless horde characterized by unkempt hair and pajama bottoms. I was third in line. I let myself feel a little euphoric. I was here! There were four Wiis and I was third in line! The horde and I got glimpses of the precious Wiis and gave them the silence they deserved. Finally, the guy in front of me stepped up. There were two Wiis left and...he wanted both. I felt sick and so did the people behind me. A murmur of dissent rose from us all and I briefly entertained the thought of jumping the guy in the parking lot and using the heel of my boot on him. Even after the guy left, I eyed the computer nerd behind the counter and asked, "You have any left?" He shook his head. I went out to my car and sobbed into the steering wheel.
I went home and told Steve about my failure as our sons' mother and the gift buyer of our home. I called my mom and dad and wailed into the phone that I didn't know what to do. My dad, alarmed by my hysteria, assured me that he would find me said Wii. Not believing him in the least, I thanked him and hung up, wondering if my boys would notice when they got Wii games and no Wii...
Two days before Christmas, my dad called me. He sounded like he had run a race and I worried that he was having a heart attack. "I got it! I have a Wii!" he whooped. I whooped back and jumped up and down. My dad had gone to Best Buy and they just happened to have had a shipment come in with 30 Wiis and were handing them out as he walked in the door! Huzzah! Woo hoo! Hallelujah! Dad was and is my hero.
Even now, years later, when I see a Wii, my heart starts racing and I have to fight back the urge to fill my cart with them and race for the cash register, pushing the huddled masses aside with elbows, teeth, and fingernails if I have to.
I made it my mission to find my boys an elusive Wii. I went to every Target, Walmart, KMart, Costco and Shopko within a 30 mile radius, but it became more and more apparent that I was going to have more luck seeing the three Nephites and taking them home. The Wii was the holy grail of gifts and I became one of the wretched refuse running wild-eyed to the back of stores where the electronics were kept.
I called every GameStop and GameCrazy in Utah. I was willing to drive hours for it. I got a tip about a week before Christmas that a GameCrazy in West Valley was going to get a shipment as soon as it opened the next morning. I woke up early, drove to West Valley through inches of snow, and slid into the parking lot where plowed snow was piled into five foot hills. I waited with heart racing until the men who obviously lived with their mothers and owned the store opened the doors. I ran from the car with a nameless horde characterized by unkempt hair and pajama bottoms. I was third in line. I let myself feel a little euphoric. I was here! There were four Wiis and I was third in line! The horde and I got glimpses of the precious Wiis and gave them the silence they deserved. Finally, the guy in front of me stepped up. There were two Wiis left and...he wanted both. I felt sick and so did the people behind me. A murmur of dissent rose from us all and I briefly entertained the thought of jumping the guy in the parking lot and using the heel of my boot on him. Even after the guy left, I eyed the computer nerd behind the counter and asked, "You have any left?" He shook his head. I went out to my car and sobbed into the steering wheel.
I went home and told Steve about my failure as our sons' mother and the gift buyer of our home. I called my mom and dad and wailed into the phone that I didn't know what to do. My dad, alarmed by my hysteria, assured me that he would find me said Wii. Not believing him in the least, I thanked him and hung up, wondering if my boys would notice when they got Wii games and no Wii...
Two days before Christmas, my dad called me. He sounded like he had run a race and I worried that he was having a heart attack. "I got it! I have a Wii!" he whooped. I whooped back and jumped up and down. My dad had gone to Best Buy and they just happened to have had a shipment come in with 30 Wiis and were handing them out as he walked in the door! Huzzah! Woo hoo! Hallelujah! Dad was and is my hero.
Even now, years later, when I see a Wii, my heart starts racing and I have to fight back the urge to fill my cart with them and race for the cash register, pushing the huddled masses aside with elbows, teeth, and fingernails if I have to.
Is it Normal if...
1. I go to the gym with a Diet Coke.
2. I just figured out that I don't like pumpkin--pie, cookies, bread, etc.
3. My wedding dress was the first one I tried on and I was disappointed I found it so soon.
4. Camping seems masochistic.
5. Just seeing a Hobby Lobby makes me anxious/nauseous.
6. I don't like Christmas shopping but I love shopping any other time.
7. My hair gets shorter and shorter over the years but when Mikayla wanted to cut her long hair to her chin, I cried.
8. I have sea legs for two weeks after I go on a cruise.
9. I don't like pie.
10. I order the same thing every time I go to my favorite restaurant--why mess with a good thing?
11. I think reality t.v. is creepy.
12. I'm an English major, but I think Jane Austen is boring. I like the movie with Keira Knightley, though.
13. I name our cars depending on their color--Fern (our light green Odyssey), Ruby (our red Hyundai), and Pearl (our white Highlander.)
14. I think Steve is cuter without hair.
?
2. I just figured out that I don't like pumpkin--pie, cookies, bread, etc.
3. My wedding dress was the first one I tried on and I was disappointed I found it so soon.
4. Camping seems masochistic.
5. Just seeing a Hobby Lobby makes me anxious/nauseous.
6. I don't like Christmas shopping but I love shopping any other time.
7. My hair gets shorter and shorter over the years but when Mikayla wanted to cut her long hair to her chin, I cried.
8. I have sea legs for two weeks after I go on a cruise.
9. I don't like pie.
10. I order the same thing every time I go to my favorite restaurant--why mess with a good thing?
11. I think reality t.v. is creepy.
12. I'm an English major, but I think Jane Austen is boring. I like the movie with Keira Knightley, though.
13. I name our cars depending on their color--Fern (our light green Odyssey), Ruby (our red Hyundai), and Pearl (our white Highlander.)
14. I think Steve is cuter without hair.
?
Monday, November 1, 2010
Playing catch up
Somehow Halloween has come and gone and we are in November! Ah, sweet, schizophrenic Utah. Trying to decide whether to be 40 degrees or 80. Steve is madly trying to finish the sprinklers before the snow comes in earnest and buries our yard until spring.
A couple fun things happened in the last month:
1. The second weekend of October was the end of the summer Platinum party. This year it was held at the capitol building, which meant that we all got to dress up, eat well, and listen to some jazz. I've had some nice memories of the place: Steve and I went to prom there in high school and I had my bridal pictures taken on the huge staircase.
2. Steve and I went on a day-long trip to Park City. We shopped at the outlets, spent the night in a hotel, and I once again proved that I can pick the most expensive restaurant within a ten mile radius. It's a gift. Poor Steve. He had the soup.
3. After only 11 years of marriage and 4 children, we have acquired 4 Halloween decorations: a web, a large, hairy spider I like to call Porsche, a small spider named Bob, and a sign we stick in the dirt that has a skeleton's bony arm with finger pointing to our haunted house. Alas, no one came. We have very few neighbors. I still buy candy because it just seems wrong not to have it just in case.
4. My kids trick-or-treated in my mom's neighborhood--a veritable trick-or-treater's Mecca. Her street is a part of a series of cul-de-sacs and after only an hour, our kids' bags were full. I have spent the last day or two picking up wrappers and trying to brush the kids' teeth with reckless abandon. I don't think it's doing much, though. I think they are eating candy in their sleep. I guess it should make me feel good that we are single-handedly putting our dentist's 9 kids through college...
5. I got to go to a Halloween party hosted by my friend Kathy who is the music/art teacher at Challenger. Several of my teacher-friends came and it was GREAT to see them and talk about the time we spent in the trenches together. Sure, my witch hat burst into flames when I sidled up against a skull candelabra and sure, a complete stranger yanked it off my head, stomped on it a few times, and handed it back to me, but it was worth it. I need to get a new costume for next year, anyway.
A couple fun things happened in the last month:
1. The second weekend of October was the end of the summer Platinum party. This year it was held at the capitol building, which meant that we all got to dress up, eat well, and listen to some jazz. I've had some nice memories of the place: Steve and I went to prom there in high school and I had my bridal pictures taken on the huge staircase.
2. Steve and I went on a day-long trip to Park City. We shopped at the outlets, spent the night in a hotel, and I once again proved that I can pick the most expensive restaurant within a ten mile radius. It's a gift. Poor Steve. He had the soup.
3. After only 11 years of marriage and 4 children, we have acquired 4 Halloween decorations: a web, a large, hairy spider I like to call Porsche, a small spider named Bob, and a sign we stick in the dirt that has a skeleton's bony arm with finger pointing to our haunted house. Alas, no one came. We have very few neighbors. I still buy candy because it just seems wrong not to have it just in case.
4. My kids trick-or-treated in my mom's neighborhood--a veritable trick-or-treater's Mecca. Her street is a part of a series of cul-de-sacs and after only an hour, our kids' bags were full. I have spent the last day or two picking up wrappers and trying to brush the kids' teeth with reckless abandon. I don't think it's doing much, though. I think they are eating candy in their sleep. I guess it should make me feel good that we are single-handedly putting our dentist's 9 kids through college...
5. I got to go to a Halloween party hosted by my friend Kathy who is the music/art teacher at Challenger. Several of my teacher-friends came and it was GREAT to see them and talk about the time we spent in the trenches together. Sure, my witch hat burst into flames when I sidled up against a skull candelabra and sure, a complete stranger yanked it off my head, stomped on it a few times, and handed it back to me, but it was worth it. I need to get a new costume for next year, anyway.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
It's Gonna Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight...
Sitting here, typing this blog post, I can hear the helicopters zooming overhead to douse the flames and smoke that are still making their way down the mountains just behind our house. The fire started 3 days ago at Camp Williams, where some oblivious military personnel had shooting practice with machine guns in spite of the red flag that had been issued because of high temperatures and low humidity. A fire quickly caught hold of the dry sage and brush and spread up the mountain behind us.
Sunday, after a nap, I wandered into our family room and noticed an odd orange light coming from the high window in our entryway. Then we saw the smoke. Orange and black and white, coming from behind our mountain. It looked like there was a lot of blue sky around it, though, so we were hopeful that it would quickly be contained.
It wasn't. The next time we looked outside, there was a snake-like line of fire approaching our house. Fire trucks and helicopters did what they could, but there is limited access to the top of our mountain, so they had to wait for the fire to come to them. One image in particular haunts me. It's of our fire, miles long and hungry, coming down our mountain and leaving red hot ash behind it (like lava) and one lone fire truck at the base, waiting with all of its lights on and sirens screaming, as the fire approached it. It reminded me of that scene on Titanic when the captain knows they are going down so they send out flares and the camera pans back so that you can see that there is nothing but deadly, dark, freezing ocean for miles and miles around. In this case, though, the fire trucks beat back the fire.
The kids panicked and ran through the house with armloads of things from their closets and the game room that they dumped down into the family room. Apparently, "pick only the important things" included every toy they have ever owned. I ran around and put most of their stuff back and tried to pick the things that were important to me, too. We ended up with some things we needed, but, most importantly, my two favorite pairs of jeans and the boys' Wii. We are simple people.
Steve stayed in the house for as long as he could. He reminded me of captain Ahab, standing against nature's open maw. It scared me to death, but he finally joined us at my parent's house at 5 the next morning. We thought we'd be able to go back that day, but we were kept back from our road by the military and the police.
We slept at my parents' for two nights. After the first night, my mom joked that we had another day until she'd kick us out to fend for ourselves at the high school with the other evacuees. Bless her, she never did kick us out even after my kids lost their minds and practically begged me to end their lives.
Tuesday night at 8, (day 2 of the evacuation) I got a call from Felisha that the police had left our road. I had been glued to the website that gave what I thought was up-to-date info about which evacuation orders had been lifted. My dad and I quickly piled into his car to see if she was right. She was! We went home and I gathered and dumped things and kids alike into our car so that I could zoom up the road to our house with my foot only letting up from the gas when we passed the policeman sealing off the road leading further up the mountain.
I was offered love and help by many. Thank you all. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for saving me and mine AGAIN. Thank you to all the policemen, firemen, bulldozer drivers, helicopter pilots, etc. from 4 different states who were willing to stand up and shake their fist at such a huge fire and win. We don't even have smoke damage in here. Three homes were lost, but there are pictures of the fire coming right up to the backyards of many others. So many were blessed, and I am one of them. I am thankful.
Sunday, after a nap, I wandered into our family room and noticed an odd orange light coming from the high window in our entryway. Then we saw the smoke. Orange and black and white, coming from behind our mountain. It looked like there was a lot of blue sky around it, though, so we were hopeful that it would quickly be contained.
It wasn't. The next time we looked outside, there was a snake-like line of fire approaching our house. Fire trucks and helicopters did what they could, but there is limited access to the top of our mountain, so they had to wait for the fire to come to them. One image in particular haunts me. It's of our fire, miles long and hungry, coming down our mountain and leaving red hot ash behind it (like lava) and one lone fire truck at the base, waiting with all of its lights on and sirens screaming, as the fire approached it. It reminded me of that scene on Titanic when the captain knows they are going down so they send out flares and the camera pans back so that you can see that there is nothing but deadly, dark, freezing ocean for miles and miles around. In this case, though, the fire trucks beat back the fire.
The kids panicked and ran through the house with armloads of things from their closets and the game room that they dumped down into the family room. Apparently, "pick only the important things" included every toy they have ever owned. I ran around and put most of their stuff back and tried to pick the things that were important to me, too. We ended up with some things we needed, but, most importantly, my two favorite pairs of jeans and the boys' Wii. We are simple people.
Steve stayed in the house for as long as he could. He reminded me of captain Ahab, standing against nature's open maw. It scared me to death, but he finally joined us at my parent's house at 5 the next morning. We thought we'd be able to go back that day, but we were kept back from our road by the military and the police.
We slept at my parents' for two nights. After the first night, my mom joked that we had another day until she'd kick us out to fend for ourselves at the high school with the other evacuees. Bless her, she never did kick us out even after my kids lost their minds and practically begged me to end their lives.
Tuesday night at 8, (day 2 of the evacuation) I got a call from Felisha that the police had left our road. I had been glued to the website that gave what I thought was up-to-date info about which evacuation orders had been lifted. My dad and I quickly piled into his car to see if she was right. She was! We went home and I gathered and dumped things and kids alike into our car so that I could zoom up the road to our house with my foot only letting up from the gas when we passed the policeman sealing off the road leading further up the mountain.
I was offered love and help by many. Thank you all. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for saving me and mine AGAIN. Thank you to all the policemen, firemen, bulldozer drivers, helicopter pilots, etc. from 4 different states who were willing to stand up and shake their fist at such a huge fire and win. We don't even have smoke damage in here. Three homes were lost, but there are pictures of the fire coming right up to the backyards of many others. So many were blessed, and I am one of them. I am thankful.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Zion, Dear Zion
Ah, to be home. Ohio tried its darndest to keep us there--I went to the airport on the 23rd and our plane came in with 2 flat tires. The poor woman from American Air got on a mike and said that our plane would be delayed because they didn't have enough tires available. I went into a huge line and then was told that the flight was cancelled. I laughed. When I finally got to the woman who looked like she had been gang beaten, she told me the soonest I could get home was by taking a 7:15 a.m. flight to Chicago and then home to Utah. My children, meanwhile, ran through the waiting area and made themselves nuisances. I tried to pretend they weren't mine, but then Topher came up to me and loudly told me that he needed to poo and ran off with a hand on his bum. The man behind me bemusedly told me he would hold my place in line. Bless the woman who later distracted my hoodlums with her French bulldog puppy for a few blessed minutes.
The airline put us up in a hotel and served us pepperoni pizza in our room and at 4:30 a.m. I woke the kids up and herded them to the airport shuttle. Topher didn't stop crying all morning. I put him on top of the wheeled luggage so I could pull him along, and he fell asleep and fell off the side onto his head. Have I mentioned I don't like flying? It makes me sick and after 3 hours I start to feel claustrophobic, I start hyperventilating, and I grip the armrests until my knuckles go white. When it gets really bad, I find myself mumbling a prayer with my head resting on the seat in front of me.
When we landed and I stumbled off the plane, I ran to the baggage area hoping that the kids were keeping up (they were.) When we saw my mom and dad, they all subsequently dropped any and all luggage they were holding for me.
To sum the summer up, (and really any summer where we do sales) I liken it to the story of Persephone. You know, the lady who ate the pomegranate seeds and had to live for 4 months in hell so she could go home for the other 8? That's me.
Being home is wonderful. The mountains are like sentinels and the heat doesn't feel like I have stepped out into someone's open mouth. Sure I have mice who have taken up residence in my cabinets and fireplace and have outsmarted my traps (I heard one set it off in the fireplace, struggle, and then saw that it had run off with my cracker-bait)and sure one of the mice is running through the cabinets with a trap STILL ATTACHED, but I got one of the little suckers and have now declared war on Mickey and all his kinfolk. The good news is that there are no bears living in the basement and nothing has carried off any of the kids during the night. Phew.
I got my hair cut and dyed (ah) and even tried out eyelash extensions today and then realized, to my chagrin, that I am allergic to the glue and went to have them removed the same day. FYI--if you have to get extensions removed, the solution that takes them off stings like crazy and it has to sit on your lashes for 10-20 minutes. Of course, with my luck it was 20. I could hear in my mother's tone of voice that she really wanted to say, "Vanity, thy name is woman," but she didn't and I love her for it.
When Steve gets here, it will be home again.
The airline put us up in a hotel and served us pepperoni pizza in our room and at 4:30 a.m. I woke the kids up and herded them to the airport shuttle. Topher didn't stop crying all morning. I put him on top of the wheeled luggage so I could pull him along, and he fell asleep and fell off the side onto his head. Have I mentioned I don't like flying? It makes me sick and after 3 hours I start to feel claustrophobic, I start hyperventilating, and I grip the armrests until my knuckles go white. When it gets really bad, I find myself mumbling a prayer with my head resting on the seat in front of me.
When we landed and I stumbled off the plane, I ran to the baggage area hoping that the kids were keeping up (they were.) When we saw my mom and dad, they all subsequently dropped any and all luggage they were holding for me.
To sum the summer up, (and really any summer where we do sales) I liken it to the story of Persephone. You know, the lady who ate the pomegranate seeds and had to live for 4 months in hell so she could go home for the other 8? That's me.
Being home is wonderful. The mountains are like sentinels and the heat doesn't feel like I have stepped out into someone's open mouth. Sure I have mice who have taken up residence in my cabinets and fireplace and have outsmarted my traps (I heard one set it off in the fireplace, struggle, and then saw that it had run off with my cracker-bait)and sure one of the mice is running through the cabinets with a trap STILL ATTACHED, but I got one of the little suckers and have now declared war on Mickey and all his kinfolk. The good news is that there are no bears living in the basement and nothing has carried off any of the kids during the night. Phew.
I got my hair cut and dyed (ah) and even tried out eyelash extensions today and then realized, to my chagrin, that I am allergic to the glue and went to have them removed the same day. FYI--if you have to get extensions removed, the solution that takes them off stings like crazy and it has to sit on your lashes for 10-20 minutes. Of course, with my luck it was 20. I could hear in my mother's tone of voice that she really wanted to say, "Vanity, thy name is woman," but she didn't and I love her for it.
When Steve gets here, it will be home again.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
32 years down...
My birthday came and went, as all birthdays tend to do. It went really well. I only got one strange comment from a bank teller (who was the human equivalent of biting on tinfoil) who noticed from my driver's license that it was the big day and made a tsk noise and said it was all downhill from here with no trace of humor. Hmm. I choked down the compulsion to punch him in the face and smiled until my cheeks hurt. In my head I sang "Happy Birthday to me" and felt better.
The funny thing about being out doing sales for the summer is that I have to wait ALL day to go out on a date. Steve came home early (8:45), so we went to the Olive Garden. Yum. They have those in Ohio, too. Afterward, we went to the movie theater and saw Inception. It was good in a disturbing, subconscious, controlled through your dreams, Matrix-y kind of way. Leonardo DiCaprio no longer looks like I outweigh him, and that is good.
During the day, I had the best brownie I have ever had from Panera Bread. Felisha, you were so right. Panera Bread is Nirvana. The aforementioned brownie was almost black it was so full of chocolate-y goodness, it had little bits of chocolate chips, and it was the perfect amount of munchy/chewy. I inhaled it and wished after that I had gazed at it fondly and named it first. I even shared with my daughter and then wondered, guiltily, why I had.
All in all a good day.
The funny thing about being out doing sales for the summer is that I have to wait ALL day to go out on a date. Steve came home early (8:45), so we went to the Olive Garden. Yum. They have those in Ohio, too. Afterward, we went to the movie theater and saw Inception. It was good in a disturbing, subconscious, controlled through your dreams, Matrix-y kind of way. Leonardo DiCaprio no longer looks like I outweigh him, and that is good.
During the day, I had the best brownie I have ever had from Panera Bread. Felisha, you were so right. Panera Bread is Nirvana. The aforementioned brownie was almost black it was so full of chocolate-y goodness, it had little bits of chocolate chips, and it was the perfect amount of munchy/chewy. I inhaled it and wished after that I had gazed at it fondly and named it first. I even shared with my daughter and then wondered, guiltily, why I had.
All in all a good day.
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