'Bacher babes

What I love about
Kayla
*She is strong.
*She loves to read.
*She adores Topher.
*She is a good friend.
*I usually don't have to remind her to make her bed.
*She sings to her ipod really loudly.
*She loves going out with my mom.
*She is smart.
*She loves pink.
*She loves her cousins.
*She loves to get her toes painted.
*She reminds me of several strong-willed people from both sides of the family...
*I got her name from my Grandma Glenda when she was doing Spanish geneology work.
*I asked her to put her grievances with her brothers into one sentence and she said, "Okay, but this will take a lot of commas."

Josh
*He calls Cole his best buddy.
*When he was little, he saw a ray of sun shining through some clouds and asked, "Mommy, is God talking to someone?"
*It feels good to be around him.
*He helps the other kids at school when they don't understand something.
*He's not too cool to get excited.
*He looks like his dad.
*When he doesn't know someone, he says, "Hi. I'm Josh."
*He makes up little songs.
*He loves to read.
*He loves people.
*He told me I make the best lasagna in the business.
*I think I know how Steve was as a child because of him.
*He calls me mommy still.
*He says sorry.

Cole
*He reminds me of Glen.
*He had hair like a troll doll when he was a baby.
*He was an angel baby.
*He has eyes like my mom.
*When he had to transfer schools, he told me he learned everything there was to learn from Challenger and had to move on.
*He is usually quiet and calm.
*He cries when Josh is in trouble.
*His favorite candy is "Starburts."
*He loves it when Josh reads to him.
*When I won't go on scary rides, he stays with me.
*His initials are CTR (Colton Tate Rindlisbacher.)

Topher
*He calls Kayla Walla.
*I asked him if he was sweet and he said, "No, I Toph."
*He is eye candy.
*He likes to eat.
*He has an awesome giggle.
*He likes his belly button.
*He sings to himself.
*He is happy.
*He has cute, crooked toes.
*He wakes me up in the morning by climbing into my bed and putting his hand on my face and saying, "Mommy."
*He repeats the last word of my sentences as a question.
*He still lets me hold him.
*He looks really cute when he runs.
*His initials are CTR (Christian Topher Rindlisbacher.)

Beauty

For those who would like a good read and a great short video of photos of Christ put to beautiful music--
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak--from the point of view of Death during the time of Hitler. Beautifully written with few words in sentences that gave me goosebumps. Every page has a way of saying something simply and meaningfully. This is my third time reading it and I love it more every time.
Got this site from a friend--www.capturedmiracles.org. 4 minutes. Love it.

Finally!

I dyed my hair a fun red color awhile ago (see previous entry) and when my cute red-headed niece, Lilly, saw me, she shrieked, "You finally have red hair!" I feel like I have been admitted into a very exclusive club and part of me is very proud...

Attitude

My Mikayla has decided that children's menus are beneath her. We just got back from a little trip to St. George and we went to dinner the last night at the Brick Oven. Mikayla wanted to get the buffet but refused to get it from the children's menu even though she was getting the exact same thing, it was just half as much on the kid's menu. After dealing with a lot of attitude and several stink eyes, I threatened to give her to the nearest Indian. (When my kids are bad, I threaten to give them to the Indians. They are used to this.) I told her that a nice tribe of Navajo Indians was not far and would love to have her. She rolled her eyes and said," Like you know any Navajos." Bless her heart. I hope she marries a very patient, quiet man. We may have to rely a lot on her good looks. :)

Confessions

* I hate to scrapbook. I suck at it, it takes me a long time, and yes I am an active Mormon.
* Same goes for sewing.
* My kids eat cereal for more than one meal often and some days for every meal.
* Josh just asked me if moms are supposed to cook.
* I don't know how to get pictures on this blog or facebook.
* I don't like pie.
* I don't make my own bread or even want to.
* I love jeans. A lot. And J. Crew cardigans.
* I'm making pancakes for dinner right now.
* I go to movies just because Johnny Depp is in them.
* I am qualified to home school my kids, but I really don't want to, so I won't.
* I don't watch the news because I can't sleep afterward.
* I used to watch Law and Order SVU but don't anymore for the same reason.
* I hate to dust.
* I love the smell of coffee.
* I think SpongeBob is funny.
* I think the first Work and the Glory movie is better than all the books. (*Gulp* Can I say that out loud?)
* I get my feelings hurt too much.
* I love to watch people get their hair done.
* I love to get my hair done.
* I change my hair on a whim because I can't get a tat or more piercings. :)
* I've called my daughter Attila since she was two for obvious reasons.
* I call Topher Fatty Pants McGee.
* My toes look like the little sea creatures that Ursula turns Mermaids into.

My cousins!

I don't know where else to put this so I will put it here because it is my blog after all...
Kirsta! Heather! Yea! I have missed you and love you! Your comments have made me happy! How does one become friends on facebook with you, KJ?

Why

It seems like it's taking me too long to get over not being a teacher. I think I'm confused about how to define myself. I always felt like I could ensure myself a job as long as I did what was asked. Lesson plans? Three weeks ahead. Calling parents? I was there until 6 pretty much every night. Over the last couple months, I have tried to wrap my brain around what I could have done differently. Tried to logically explain to myself what had happened. I haven't been able to. Logic doesn't seem to be a part of the ultimate decision. And while it is a bit of a relief that I did everything I could, it is also devastating because I did everything I could. It feels like a freak of nature, like a tornado or earthquake has brought me to my knees and asking why doesn't explain what made the plates shift or the winds twist. Just accepting seems to be the only option, and yet I am having a hard time. How long is acceptance going to take? Is it too much to hope for that one day I will actually be grateful that this happened? I want to be. I want to look back without feeling like I am pushing on a bruise. I want to have peace--to be able to look back and with understanding say, "Oh, that's why."